Posted in bipolar disorder, Photography

Bipolar Disorder Adds Something to Life

I have two undergraduate degrees, one in biology and one in journalism. I have a law degree. I passed two bar exams. Because I take a class at New Mexico State University each semester since Spring 2000, I have now spent more of my life in school that out. I like to think of myself as a reasonably intelligent woman.

A couple weeks ago, I set up my booth at the local Farmers & Craft Market. Yes, it’s a whole lot of work. No, I can’t do it by myself. I need Jim to help me because the EZ Up is only easy to get up if there are two people setting it up. I’m too short to get the legs fully extended. Jim does not like helping me with this. That’s because his experience trying to sell art at the Farmers & Craft Market wasn’t pleasant.  His suggestion was that I set up a website and sell from an online store. I’ve got an etsy store, but I can’t seem to figure out how to get people to visit it.

I searched on line. I read reviews. I asked on Facebook, the Digital Photography School Facebook page, the Mildly Offensive Fiber Artists Facebook page and the Clay Buddies Facebook page about websites. Two came up most often: Squarespace and Wix. Both are touted to be DIY website building sites.

After more than an hour trying to figure out Squarespace and discovering that while I can set up an online store, I cannot connect it to my paypal account, I gave up. Plus, building the site is extremely difficult. I ended up crying. Somewhere on Squarespace I’ve got two sites. If I could figure out how, I’d delete them.

It took longer than that to set up a site on Wix. And I can’t change fonts, can’t add a logo unless I want to remove my name, and I’m stuck with some of their photos. I could, and did, connect it to my paypal account. It’s been more than two hours since I went live with the site, but I’m still upset, shaking, and it’s probably not a  good idea to try talking to me. If you would like to see my website, you can here.

I had gotten some good offers from Shutterfly for photo prints. With shipping, even the free offers cost more than going to Walgreens. Plus, there’s a long wait to get my prints. One set of prints is stuck in El Paso. It has been there since June 3, 2017. I’ve sent an email to Shutterfly and might get an answer in a few days. I cannot call anyone at Shutterfly. Customer service via phone and I don’t get along. More than once, I’ve ended up screaming at the person who was supposed to help me. I think I permanently traumatized an obnoxious person at Express Scripts and a guy in Russia.  When I use Walgreens, I go online, upload photos, click on the size and number of prints for each photo, hit send and my photos will be ready to pick up in a couple hours. No lost prints. No waiting for more than a week for my prints that don’t get lost. No screaming. Other than paying the clerk, I don’t have to talk to anyone.

Earlier this week, I spent several hours getting set up with Skype. I downloaded what the website said to download. Except that was the wrong download. How was I supposed to know that? It said download for Mac and I have a Macbook Pro. Fortunately, Skype has customer service on chat so I didn’t have to talk to anyone. By that time, I was too frustrated to try talking to anyone. I need Skype only because the Volunteer Lawyers Program offers free continuing legal education seminars to lawyers who accept a minimum of one case per year. I wanted to attend a seminar, but I didn’t want to drive to Albuquerque which would require about $60 worth of gas and a stay in a hotel plus meals. For me, the only thing Skype is good for is attending a seminar. Otherwise, I’d blast the sucker off my hard drive.

Bipolar disorder makes handling frustration extremely hard. Whatever frustration you experience using customer service via telephone, magnify that by a factor of at least 5 and you get an idea of what I experience. Toss in off-shore customer service and trying to talk to someone who almost speaks English, and the experience is unbearable.

I look back, and wonder how I managed life before having an accurate diagnosis. It took 35 years for the bipolar disorder to be diagnosed and  two psychiatrists missed the diagnosis. No, I don’t know how that happened. Bipolar disorder isn’t something that can be hidden. I have a friend who is bipolar and who swears by his psychiatrist. I swear at psychiatrists. The only thing the two I saw were any good at was pushing drugs.

Art is one of the ways I can get myself back to center when I’m either dancing on the manic end or the depressed end of the seesaw. Photography is an almost instant gratification form of art. Maybe it’s instant gratification because I love all the parts of the process. I love looking for something to photograph. I love looking for the best shot. I love composing the shot. I dearly love editing and playing with the shot.

Sunset 1 6-6-17

This is the sunset as it appeared in real life.

Sunset 1 6-6-17 edge light leak grunge

This is the sunset after I got done playing with it.

Cactus seed pod 2 6-9-17

The common name for this cactus is claret cup because of the claret colored blossoms. This is what the seed pod looks like.

Cactus flower 6-8-17

This is a cactus that only blooms in direct sun which makes photographing it difficult. The light is harsh, it’s hard to show depth, and I have to be extremely careful about my shadow. The cactus are about 4″ tall, but you can’t tell that from the photo.

Cactus blossom 6-9-17

This is what the cactus looked like this morning.

Agave 5 6-9-17 color adj glass blocksAgave 4 6-9-17 edge grunge x2

Both of the above are shots of the agave in front of the house. I had fun playing with them.

I’m linking with Nina Marie here. Stop by and see what other artists have done this past week.

 

Advertisements

Author:

I retired from the Public Defender Dept. November 12, 2015 after 21+ years as a criminal defense attorney. Now, I'm a full time multi-media artist and writer starting on a new adventure. As an artist, I create with beads, fabric, fiber, and ceramic clay. Sometimes separately; sometimes in assorted combinations. You can find my on-line store at: www.debthumanart.com.

3 thoughts on “Bipolar Disorder Adds Something to Life

  1. I feel for your struggle, I hate phones, I will procrastinate a phone call for days. I finally got a cell phone for safety, cause I drive to work in the dark, but I never use many minutes. The good thing about a cell, is that I can text. Yea, easy, don’t have to make small talk. I can just ask my question and get a direct answer. Your phots are great, I am trying different things in Photoshop too, and I’m trying to use my photos for the basis of my art quilts. I found that last little cactus when I was in Az & Utah a couple weeks ago, I thought it was just a baby of a larger one near by. Nice to know it stays small. Piecefully Amy

    Like

  2. I really appreciate your openness and honesty in discussing your bipolar disorder. My daughter was diagnosed at 13, and after about 7 really rough years has gotten to a pretty good place. So many people do not understand the challenges of living with a mental illness, and I think you are helping educate. I like all the other things on your blog as well, but want you to know I see you as a strong woman doing her best every single day, and I know how hard that is.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s